Life is not really simple as it seemed when I was a child. It was so beautiful. It still is beautiful.. but not simple any more! There was nothing to worry about (except getting the 1st rank or else…..). Friends, family,Studies - everything was so simple. Then as years passed on things started to change. All my family members went to different places to carry on with their lives. For last 6 years I have been staying away form home in Hostels. It’s not that I am home sick or something.. it’s just that I am surprised to see that life changes in a pace that I never knew!
I have changed 5 odd schools. Lived in 5 different cities. Made friends and then moved on. I try to be in contact with them but sometimes I am not able to find them. Most of the times, I never knew that I am going to some other place. It just happened. I guess it would have been difficult for me to say Good-Bye to them if I knew that I am leaving.
Recently when I was looking for my friends on facebook I came to know that one of them committed Suicide! The same old reason – “A girl had ditched him”. I was shocked. This guy was such a Lively person… how could he do that? I also could not understand, that why do people commit suicide. After all it’s just a girl/boy compared to the family you have, the love of your parents and friends is with you…. then why the hell would anyone commit suicide for some girl/boy???
Then, I did not have the answer. But then, as usual, life gave me the answer. It actually becomes unbearable when you love some one with all your heart, you care for the person and then you suddenly realize one day that all that love was an ILLUSION! It was a fake! The person wanted something from you.. so had entered your life, and now that the purpose is fulfilled… they leave you… they not only leave you… they also tell you how they are much happier without you.. that they never loved you.. or may be they don’t love you anymore. At that time.. at that instant.. the MIND goes Blank! You have no clue what to do. You cry… you try.. try to bring the person back.. try to explain that you can’t possibly imagine your life without him'/her… but the daemon laughs at you! Then….then you go crazy…. you try to think of a way to forget all the memories you treasured so long.. the moments you have cherished feels fake.. the whole world feels fake!
You no longer understand your own feelings.. You try to fake that you are fine… after sometime you realize its not possible to fake that things are fine! You still miss the person… then you try once again.. and then.. there comes a moment.. THE MOMENT… when you feel like giving up; you feel like you lost everything! It’s amazing to notice how one person equates to EVERYTHING! At that moment, only two things can happen – Either you Plan a Suicide or you plan to grow as a person… you tell yourself “No, I am not going to commit suicide… I am not an Idiot! There is more in the world to explore… moreover if I commit suicide what the hell will I gain?
But that depends on the person’s emotional stamina…. and actually friends play an important role. The best thing one can do is to write down the feelings. It does help a lot… It brings peace to the mind.
But whatever you do… one thing doesn’t change – You need to say Good-Bye… to the person…you need to say Good-Bye to your past… to the memories.. to those feelings… but it’s pretty difficult. It takes a long time to say Good-Bye! You go through a lot of pain… and often you wonder – “How can I say Good-Bye!”. I bet its better than saying good-bye to your family and friends forever! Well that depends on you. Again you have choices.. 1st face the situation and say Good-Bye.
Tighten your belts… and get ready for an adventure!! Get the Love of your Life Back into your Life! But now you have to be sure WHO THAT LOVE IS!