Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Pieces of my life - Ghosts of Kicks(like me!) do not understand words!

Steve Jobs and Henry Ford came back strongly only after they were kicked out from the companies they had co-founded. Mark Zuckerburg's half-true story is out in the form of 'The Social Network'. Sachin Tendulkar, Sourav Ganguly and Rahul Dravid too came back when everyone thought their time was over. Tulsidas became a saint after he got scoldings from his wife. Vivekananda was enlightened only when he was kicked in the forehead by Sri RamKrishna Paramhamsa. Dhruva became a devotee because he was treated unfairly by his step-mother.  I guess that’s how some of the great people are transformed. They say “Ghosts of kicks do not understand words.” This is very true for a few people like me! (Note: I am not saying I am great, but yes I deserved a kick!)

When you get everything you want everytime you want, you become a spoiled child. You might be a good person but slowly you get egoistic, you get bossy, you brag about yourself,you fail to understand others views and feelings... but worst of all you start hurting people even those close to you, even your friends and you are too blind to see what you are doing to them!

That is the period of the downfall. It's time when TIME decides to teach you a lesson to get you on track! And it actually can be the best periods of our lives. But the period is not so easy to deal with. It takes a hell lot of character, perseverance and the spirit to fight to find a way out. Last but not the least you need a guide. This guide can be a friend, a teacher, family members or a good book. Luckily for me, I had all of them.

This summers, I had almost lost everything I had. A few of those are - my closest friends, my reputation, my event, my club, position in the MSP community, my Health(I went through rigorous treatment for internal hemmorhoids and Asthema), my girlfriend. I was offered internship at DRDO & Microsoft, and I couldn't go there either. My research paper was incomplete. And the chance of writing a book on a computer science subject as co-author with some Profs was slipping away because I was depressed.  But most important of those things I had lost faith, I had lost intelligence!

I went through some very gruesome experiences during those periods. Thoughts of committing suicide crossed my minds a few times... and I was surprised that I was even thinking of that in the first place. Every step I took to make things right actually made them worse. I did not know what to do. I went into a state of depression. Even visited a psychiatrist. I was frustrated, I was tired, I was lost, but I couldn't quit.

However, I had Abhinav Omar, Himanshu, Prakhar & Akhil to help me in BIT, I had Shakeel when I was at home. I had Anup Keshri sir who supported me... I had my parents, I had books by some very special authors and I had God's support!

I had been cursing the year 2010., but today I regard it as the best year in my life. My fall was necessary for a RISE. I have learned so much this year which I haven't in the previous 21 years of my life! There are a few books which helped me through my journey:
  1.  World's Greatest Comebacks by Robert A. Schuller
  2.  Who moved my Cheese? by Dr Spencer Johnson
  3.  ध्यान - तंत्र के आलोक में by स्वामी सत्यानन्द सरस्वती 
  4.  व्यक्तित्व विकास के लिए उच्च स्तरीय साधनायें by पंडित श्री राम शर्मा आचार्य
  5.  The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
  6.  Jonathan Livingston Seagull by Richard Bach
  7. Oh Mind Relax Please!by Swami Sukhbodhananda 
These books are a must read for everyone. Most of them have been the New York Times Bestseller for record periods.

Initially, I was angry at people who brought my downfall. I wanted to take revenge, but then I read "When bad things happen to good people, they become better not bitter!". This statement kept me going! Today I have changed and many have felt that change. Though I can not change the fact that I hurt people, how much I want to. People who have seen me in recent days have appreciated that change but those who haven't still interpret my simple statements as comments or display of Ego. This sometimes hurts, but I know when I can change, they too can.

At last I would say my grandmother was perfectly right everytime she said -" भगवान की लाठी में आवाज़ नहीं होती!"

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