Friday, July 20, 2012

A must read - The pain of an IT Professional/Software Engineer.

An IT Professional calls his friend:
Dude, I need to talk to you, why aren't you picking my calls?

Friend: "Everything is alright?"

"Alright? Are you fu**ing kidding me?? Nothing is alright! Look at the clock for God's sake. The time - its..., its 11pm! And I m coming now from office. No food.. Now I will cook! From the past 3 days I m eating only maggie.

And my Manager is only eating me! See the price hikes, everything costs 2/- more than yesterday;  except.... except my fu**ing salary! I think even the begger or shopkeeper in front of my office.. earns more than me. Oh God! wat should I do??"

Friend: "What happened.. What are you talking?!?"

IT Guy: "What I am talking? No, I m not talking, I am not allowed to! Managers don't allow anyone to talk except the client,  who always has to talk something. From the past 3 months I have only been listening. For the past 3 months I didn't take any leave. And for the part 3 weeks.. I'm just begging for one damn leave. And what response i got! My manager said - 'Why you want to waste an important day of your life??'

"I now finalize one more time...yes.! I m gonna quit.. this project... but, i cant. No, i can.. but i wont..uh..."

Friend: "Ok.. now Relax..."

" Are you fu**ing kidding me? How can I relax?? For relaxation people do yoga, but its night! So i cant. "

"Other people watch movies... but see, in every channel all bogus movies are repeating, same.. 'Welcome', 'Suryavansham',Govinda's movies... it really irritates... everyone is faking in TV, fake news, fake stories, fake swayamwars, fake reality...

Ah see the movies you will get to know... In Rock-on's last scene... Arjun Rampal's wife says to taxi driver- "Hurry up, we are going to be late for Airport" Airport...??? I dont understand,why Airport, didn't he got the job in Cruze?

In 3 Idiots, starting scene, Madhvan does the drama to leave his flight, then what happened to his luggage??

In the same movie, Kareena is a student of surgery.. to bcame a surgeon.. It requires atlest 5[MBBS]+3[MS] years.. so she shud be 26... And Aamir as a student.. only 18 or 19 ?? then after 10 years they decide to marry.. means she is 36 ??

I don't understand, how can spiderman reach to the church-bell in part-3, when he lost all his power??

I dont understand, how Balakrishna can send a train back just by Hitting his thighs, when I can't ??
 
I still dont understand how could Rajnikanth fly without wings ?? i just dont....."

"And in Bodyguard, how can Salman Khan jump from when train to another which are moving in two different directions?!?"

Friend: "Hey stop it now!"

IT Guy continues: "Am I a train who will stop it, by pulling chain... ohh train.. I don't understand, how can I didnt see one in last 3 months... how will i see?
All the time the monitor is in front of me.. in night also when I open my eyes, I find my username and password window.. I need to cool down..

10 9 8 7 6 5 4 3 2 1

But someone tell me how can I cool down? Everytime there is a power-cut here.. except when i m not in home.. home, what rubbish, its a damn single room!! Where I m living alone with my pillow..

I also want girlfriend yaar, like my rivals have.. smita, rashmi, priti, sruti, madhu.. anyone from my ODC is ok, but they all are engaged, you know why??

Because, their boyfriends do not work in IT companies!! Other girls do have chat with me but only on my salary day..

I got rejected 31 times.. you know why?? Each time I propose them, they ask where do you live..
I say in my Cubicle.. because that's the only place you can find my soul all the time!"

"Hey man, you better take rest, we will talk in Morning"

"Morning.. are you talking the same morning.. when the Sun rises, bird flies, omlette fries, employee cries... damn!! I didn't see the Sun, for 3 years.. how it looks like... every morning I catching shuttle, reaching my birthplace 'cubicle' working and working and leaving when Sun uncle is not there...

I hit my room-owner some days, every morning he used to cry for increasing room rent, I will always tell him to go and meet my Manager... I dont understnd how can he be so nice to my colleagues..

Each time they want leave, they repeat the same old dialogue... "my sister's marriage".. my colleague's 9 sisters got married,
3 times grandpa expired,
5 times friend went to ICU..
but my colleague is fine!

And his favorite dialog "I need to drop a friend to hospital, as he is not feeling well" later i find movie tickets in his purse. Then my Manager's motivational speech.. 'you will work.. you will grow'.. means if i wont work.. i will shrink or what?!?

When I need hike, I am Junior.. still need to grow. But when I make mistakes. he says - "Com'on man you are a senior now, you can not make mistakes.. ahhh God gimme some power to unders1tand the greatness of a super natural person known as Manager in this world.."

Friend: "Ok enough now, I am disconnecting"

IT Guy: "Wait.. i called you.. and you are disconnecting.. you know previously I was normal, when I was in college, I used to talk continuosly watever i want, but now all I do is keep repeating the same things - 'Yeah, its done', 'that work is completed', 'Please..', 'Good Morning','Lunch','Tea','Snacks'

I bet you even tape recorders and CD players get to change their songs.

I don't know what I am talking about, I should b happy.. I have saturday and sunday..
Saturday to recover from the disaster been made from monday to friday.
Sunday to think about upcoming disaster from monday to friday.. cool
naa..

You heard that in 2012 earth will end.. then also my ODC and my cubicle will remain as it is.. you know why ??  Because that's not a part of earth.. and we employees are not human beings... we are aliens, so better before you start getting headache... go have a nice dream.. me, I will again start my day tomorrow like I m starting everyday..
good night..."

Friend - "I did not know that you have been under such a stress, things will change tomorrow!"

IT Guy: "Yeah, right, or should I call BITCH PLEASE! like the trend on internet these days. Huh!! Only a Miracle can make things right."

beep...beep...beep
The line goes dead!
**********************************************************

Next Day, in office:-

Manager: "Dude, Please come here"

"Yes sir, a new project I guess!!"

"I approved your leaves.. I think you should go and have some fun!"

The IT Guy called the friend again, "Dude, a Miracle just happened, you were right?"

Friend: "About what?"

IT Guy: "You were right. Yesterday you told me that things are going to change... and it did"

Friend: "Dude, hold on! What are you talking about? You haven't spoken to me for past 3 weeks!"

IT Guy: "Really? Then whom the hell did I call yesterday? Lemme check my dialed calls."

"Ohhh my God, yesterday I called my Manager instead of you!

5 comments:

  1. Really interesting and lovely story,,
    "True Story".

    I am a final year CSE student and now afraid of IT companies..

    What other options do i have ?
    Please let me know.. :D

    ReplyDelete
  2. @Ravi Roshan: Well Ravi, unfortunately, you have already taken up CSE so nothing much can be done about that.

    However, you still have a few options like:
    1. Go for further studies an MS or a PhD Abroad. Then you have a whole bunch of options.
    2. Write CAT, go for MBA
    3. Try for UPSC
    4. Take up a new business :P
    5. Open a Coaching Center

    ReplyDelete
  3. ultimate post....true and hilarious..:D

    ReplyDelete
  4. ultimate post...true and hilarious...:D

    ReplyDelete