What I believed was that I had a Life Crisis and then confused it with identity crisis. What I realized is the fact that I was having a Spiritual Crisis.
At this point, I can't go into the details except to say that I had to put all my projects on hold because I went into depression again. I had to fight my way back, but I did not know what I was fighting, who I was fighting or what I was fighting for.
Yesterday, I heard the sound of the temple bells calling out to me. I went and prayed. I have been waiting for my divine message for quite sometime now.
I have been weighing my options as to what to do with my life. Even at the beginning of December 2015, I used to think that I figured it all out. I was very sure of the things I had to do. But life had something else planned for me.
Things turned around for me, quite suddenly so. Never thought just a couple of months could have such an impact on me. But they did.
Thankfully, I got my divine message yesterday. And the message was very clear. There is no need to fight. When everthing is yourself, whom do you fight? Do you fight yourself? Wouldn't that be stupid? So first things first, I needed to stop fighting.
Second was I had known always in my gut how to proceed further, I just didn't want to accept it. Because it is going to be too painful. Accepting that you made mistakes and then taking measures to correct them is the key. But what needs to be done is going to hurt a few people, annoy a few others and surprise/shock a few more. But it has to be done.
The 3rd is to approach each plan one by one. I have complete my "Project Valentine" and then move on to other projects as quickly as possible. Its going to take a lot of efforts and pain but I have to do it.
4th and the most important thing I need to do is to prepare myself. I do not need to find my way as I originally thought. I was too much into thinking which of the alternate paths to chose that I got lost. I have realized I just need to be prepared. The path will chose me or perhaps the path will be shown to me.
If you have have watched Dragon Ball Z, you know this "What doesn't kill you makes you Stronger".
Thanks Ganesha. And I apologize for my actions in advance. I wish there was another way, justice needs to be carried out, and I need to be liberated. This has been one of the toughest and painstaking decisions in my life. And now, there is no turning back!